Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
