I showed him my bush... on skype.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
