SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize