I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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