I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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