so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
