she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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