Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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