I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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