Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
