Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize