My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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