God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
