My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You smell like stripper and shame
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
