I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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