Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
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I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize