1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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