In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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