I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
