Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
