so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
tell your sister to shave her snatch
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michael Bay diarrhea
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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