Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
