I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
