let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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