Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
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that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
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It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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