I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
