I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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