We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
