there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
