I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
