I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize