If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
