Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he puts the penis in happiness.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
