Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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