i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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