So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
