Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
