is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
