my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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