good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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