Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
