never play flip cup with pint glasses
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He passed out mid-signature
No subtext here. People are naked.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
