I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
