we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize