I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
