i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
