Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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