the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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