They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
