I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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