id be glad to
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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