Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
