And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
