pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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