My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Can I color on your dick again?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
