It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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