I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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