I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
