so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Less talking, more tequila
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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