i just wanna soil my oats bro
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
