She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
