Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
