so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
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