I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
