So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
