Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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